You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
