about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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