remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
