I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
