I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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