I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
