If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Porn is love you can see.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
