I've blown a few things in my day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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