i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
