Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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