that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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