Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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