I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
