I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
