he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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