Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This show inspires me to have sex in space
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
