In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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