I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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