is wine microwaveable?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
