Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize