so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
