Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize