How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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