roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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