Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
