Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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