You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
