Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
