glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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