I wish life had little blips of pornography
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
