This girl is more easily done than said...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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