ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize