What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
