Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
