Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Floor bacon is actually really good
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
