Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
