But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
