Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
