i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
