i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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