He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
