Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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