I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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