Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
