As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
