Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she peed on how many people?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
