That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your dad touched me again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
