weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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