for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
