he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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