I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
