Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
