my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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