Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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