Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am one with the molecules
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
