dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
