its not stalking. its research.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
