once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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